


happy, silly feelings

by fadedtouches



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-23 11:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18548605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedtouches/pseuds/fadedtouches
Summary: do kyungsoo can't make sense of the fluttery feelings in his chest whenever baekhyun's around, which shouldn't even be happening in the first place, because he does not get fluttery feelings. ever.





	happy, silly feelings

**Author's Note:**

> how do people title stuff?? send help

It's getting ridiculous, how much Kyungsoo feels his stomach jump around whenever he so much as comes within ten meters of Baekhyun's presence. Baekhyun's a good person, objectively. The thought of him shouldn't be making Kyungsoo _this_  sick to his stomach.

 

Kyungsoo has no idea when or how or why it even started, but for a few weeks now, he's been feeling nauseous whenever he sees his friend, and he doesn't understand _why._  It doesn't happen with any of his other friends. Just Baekhyun.

So without much else to do, he decides to start avoiding Baekhyun like the plague.

"Dude," Zitao complains when Kyungsoo refuses to go to another party after hearing that Baekhyun would be there. "What's going on? Are you guys fighting or something? You've been so weird about him lately!"

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at Zitao, trying to shove him out of his room. Maybe getting a roommate was a bad idea. "We're not fighting. Nothing's going on."

"But this is the fifth time you've rejected an invite after hearing his name!"

That's true, but Zitao doesn't need to know all the details. "That was a coincidence. I just have stuff to do. You know, homework?" He gestures to Zitao's own room, where his desk is piled messily with unfinished essays. Kyungsoo's own room is much neater, and he doesn't have nearly as much homework to finish as Zitao who keeps putting everything off until the last minute, but he doesn't need to know _that_  either. "Just go without me and have fun."

"But it's never fun without you there!" He whines dramatically. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes again. What a liar. He'd forget Kyungsoo existed the moment he set foot into the party.

He pushes Zitao to his own room and places him in front of the closet. "You should start thinking about what you'll be wearing later," he advises, and that does the trick. His roommate drops his complaints and immerses himself in picking out an eye-catching outfit as Kyungsoo goes back to his room and double-checks that the door is locked.

In the middle of a problem set later that evening, after he's had dinner, his phone buzzes with a message.

_From: Baekhyun  
_ _Soo~ are you not coming to Jaehyun's party?_

Something in Kyungsoo's chest flips at the idea that Baekhyun wants him to be there, and he swallows, squashes the feeling down. That's irrational, he berates himself. He doesn't even know Baekhyun that well, just knows that he talks too much, but he's still pretty nice.

_From: Kyungsoo  
_ _I've a few papers to pass soon._

Besides, his guts apparently hate being around Baekhyun with the way they twist every time they're in the same general area. Nothing makes sense to him.

_From: Baekhyun  
_ _Aww. Not even for a little while??_

_From: Kyungsoo  
_ _No._

Baekhyun sends back a bunch of crying emojis and a _good luck!_ and goes silent for the rest of the evening. The messages amuse Kyungsoo very much. He can just imagine the face Baekhyun had made as he typed it out.

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun have been friends for a while, meeting through mainly Jongdae, but they'd had so many mutual friends it had been a wonder they didn't meet each other sooner. Baekhyun had talked too much the day they met too, over a pizza celebrating the end of the semester, and even though he'd been talking about nothing half the time, Kyungsoo found he hadn't minded much. He enjoyed Baekhyun's energy, liked how animated he was. That was months ago.

They'd only really talked to each other when they were gathered with the others. It's not that Kyungsoo hadn't wanted them to be friends, he just has a hard time with meeting new people. Luckily for him, Baekhyun hadn't taken offense and continued telling him stories about the cousin who'd broken his arm trying to get to a cat in a tree in third grade, only slipping away to have a few drinks with Minseok and Chanyeol. He'd returned with slightly too wide smiles, drunken stories all mixed up when he tried to tell, and Kyungsoo had laughed at his unfavorable tolerance. Drunk Baekhyun was just as fun as Sober Baekhyun. Kyungsoo had liked how open he was.

They're closer now, and Kyungsoo actually finds he's having a bit of difficulty with the avoidance thing. Baekhyun's fun to be with and he's nice to look at too. Kyungsoo's seen him stressed out and it had made him feel weird like he wants to bundle Baekhyun up and take care of him until he's a ball of overexcited energy again. It's strange not being around him, but it's also strange how his chest is reacting to him, like Kyungsoo's running out of air and won't be able to breathe until he stops looking at Baekhyun.

He finishes his homework around midnight, satisfied he won't have anything to deal with except maybe Zitao's hungover ass until Monday and allows himself to relax and sink into his bed, halfway asleep when his phone buzzes again and jolts him awake. He gropes for it blindly on the bed and finds it under the rumpled blankets he'd apparently been lying on.

_From: Baekhyun  
_ _i misss uuuuuu :(_

He contemplates going to the party for a moment before deciding against it. It's already late. Besides, he's tired after using so much of his brain.

_From: Baekhyun  
_ _i haev no one to talk to_

Kyungsoo blinks at his phone. He can't really imagine Baekhyun having no one to talk to. People always seem so enraptured listening to him speak. There's just something about how enthusiastic he is that makes people fond of him.

_From: Baekhyun  
_ _r u asleeepp?? :'(_

_From: Baekhyun  
_ _sry for botheirng u... sleep welllll_

And there's that feeling in Kyungsoo's chest again that he can't make heads or tails of. His body evidently wants to die from any and every Baekhyun-related interaction.

_From: Kyungsoo  
_ _I'm not asleep._

_From: Kyungsoo  
_ _I just finished my homework._

Actually, that had been almost 45 minutes ago after a quick check of the time, but that wasn't important.

_From: Kyungsoo  
_ _You should stop drinking._

_From: Baekhyun  
_ _am not drunk_

_From: Kyungsoo  
_ _Sure you aren't._

There's no movement after that. Kyungsoo wonders what that means. Maybe Baekhyun had stopped drinking after all. Maybe he'd been drunk enough to fall asleep. Kyungsoo doesn't know and he kind of wants to go there and find out, but he reminds himself that his insides wouldn't appreciate that very much and settles for staring at the ceiling, wondering and waiting.

* * *

"You have a crush," is Joonmyun's suggestion when he brings it up over lunch on Wednesday. Kyungsoo frowns.

"That doesn't even make sense. My guts hate him."

"But it doesn't seem like _you_  do." Joonmyun points out.

"...That's true," Kyungsoo concedes. "But still, if I liked him, why would I get sick?"

Joonmyun laughs, fishing out his wallet to pay for the meal. "Don't be silly, Kyungsoo, that's not how feelings work. Don't you ever read stories or watch rom-coms?"

"Obviously not," Kyungsoo mutters as Joonmyun gets up to leave.

He's still very much confused. Joonmyun hadn't really helped. Kyungsoo decides to forget about the ridiculous suggestion.

* * *

 

Except, that's what Minseok suggests too, this time in the library, trying to get some readings done. "I mean, those are feelings of excitement, right?" is his explanation.

_But what do I even like about him_ , Kyungsoo thinks, because it still doesn't make a lot of sense in his head. But when he actually stops to consider, he realizes there's a startling amount of things he likes about Baekhyun.

On the other hand, he hasn't talked to Baekhyun since the day of the party when he'd drunkenly texted Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had found himself frequently checking to see if he'd missed any messages, unsure if he should just send one, casually ask how he is.

It's not even as if Baekhyun had confessed some significant feelings to him that day. It's normal to miss talking to a friend. And still, Kyungsoo finds himself hesitating, hovering between the want to find out if he's doing well and not wanting to confirm that he actually has feelings.

"You know," Zitao says wisely, "thinking about it so much pretty much just proves that you do have feelings or whatever. What's so hard to understand about that?"

Kyungsoo groans, bangs his forehead on the table. "But _why._ "

"Why what?"

"Why him? Why do I like him? I don't get it."

Zitao peers at him, gives him a pitying look. "You're such a fool."

* * *

 

"You should talk to him," is offered by Joonmyun. "You obviously like him, and the rest of us are worried about what's going on. When was the last time you talked to each other?"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be talking about," Kyungsoo admits anxiously. He's too used to Baekhyun taking the initiative and leading the conversations. What if Kyungsoo screws up and destroys everything forever?

Joonmyun smiles at him serenely, and it's mildly placating. "It'll be fine, Kyungsoo. I think you both miss each other a lot. You should really get that done soon."

Joonmyun's right as he usually is. That night, he opens his and Baekhyun's message thread and feels the usual strange, fluttery feeling in his chest, but it's stronger now with his anxiety over what he's going to do, and his stomach twists and turns uncomfortably.

* * *

 

It takes another week before Kyungsoo actually works up the courage to ask Baekhyun to meet up with him. He'd taken all his friends' advice to heart. He just hopes he won't freeze up in the middle of everything.

When he spots Baekhyun approaching, his breathing stutters and all the confidence Jongdae and Zitao had helped him build up to this moment crumbles away instantly. He wants to run, wants to hide, doesn't want to face Baekhyun. Yet he's rooted to his spot in the park.

"Hey," Baekhyun says with a little smile when he's arrived. He looks great, even dressed in something as simple as a sweatshirt and jeans. Kyungsoo's heart does a little somersault. "Sorry for disappearing on you."

"That's..." Kyungsoo struggles to breathe, "fine. It's fine."

Baekhyun frowns at him. "It's not. I feel bad, but let's talk about that later. You said you had something to talk about?"

"Oh. Right. Yeah. I wanted to talk about..." feelings. Kyungsoo grimaces, and gestures to the empty swings. "Do you want to maybe sit down..?"

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow but sits, swinging off the ground a little using his feet. Kyungsoo sits as well, gripping the chains tightly to ground himself, and takes a deep breath.

"I feel weird about you," is what he starts off with, which is a terrible start. Both of Baekhyun's eyebrows shoot up comically, and Kyungsoo has to quickly try to mend the situation. "But not in a bad way! You just. Make me feel weird."

"So... is it... a good thing or a bad thing..? Why am I only finding out about this now?"

"It's not a bad thing, I think... It's just, recently, I've been having trouble breathing around you, so I tried to avoid you, but that just made me feel even worse. I don't know."

"Oh." Baekhyun looks at his feet. "So what does that mean?"

Kyungsoo peeks at Baekhyun from the corner of his eyes. "I don't... really know." He scruffs the heels of his shoes in the sand. "I don't usually ever feel like this? Never have. I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean."

Baekhyun stills the swing and looks hesitantly at Kyungsoo. "Sometimes I feel the same way around you," he admits. Kyungsoo's head snaps up to look at him with wide eyes. "I know what it means. I like you, Kyungsoo. I don't know if that's what it is for you."

Kyungsoo's mouth falls open in a little 'o.' "That's what Joonmyun-hyung and Minseok-hyung said; that I had a crush on you, when I tried to ask them what it meant."

Baekhyun's eyes sparkle with hope, and he's looking at Kyungsoo like he's the only thing Baekhyun can see right now. And suddenly Kyungsoo knows why he likes Baekhyun. It's the way he looks at him and talks to him, the way he makes Kyungsoo feels like he matters whenever he shares stories and asks about his day. Kyungsoo feels like he's loved, like there's something he shares with Baekhyun that he doesn't have with anyone else.

Baekhyun looks brighter than ever when he faces Kyungsoo. "So do you want to maybe date?"

Kyungsoo can't catch his breath after his revelation, but he reaches out with the hand closest to Baekhyun's and takes Baekhyun's hand into his, their palms are warm and a little sweaty. Baekhyun's nervous too, but they don't pull away from each other. Kyungsoo shifts his eyes away, a silly little smile on his face and says, "Okay."

Baekhyun beams at him happily. They spend the rest of the afternoon on the swings, hands intertwined and talking about nothing and everything with wide smiles on both of their faces as the sun starts to set behind them.

Kyungsoo's heart still flips when he sees Baekhyun, but it's welcome now; happy, and it's softer, content to spend time with Baekhyun like this.

 


End file.
